Ridiculous Celeb Diet “Secrets”

Shamefully, it is precisely people like me that keep all the weight loss companies afloat. As a self-confessed diet addict, I’m constantly on the prowl for celebrity secrets or fad diets to try. Reading about new schemes tends to give me a feeling of ‘hope’; that surely my previous failures can be redeemed if I just find that one secret to weight loss (which doesn’t include salad or exercise!). While some, like eating sweet potato, chicken breast, bananas etc. are completely rational and will work for a person who has willpower, other ‘secrets’ are downright ridiculous. I’ve listed my favourites below:

INSTANT RAMEN = INSTANT WEIGHT LOSS?

Earlier this year, SNSD’s Taeyeon revealed the secret to keeping her slim and trim figure. I expected the secret to be lettuce. Instead I got the shock of my life: Taeyeon’s secret is to eat instant ramen late at night (so much for SNSD not eating after 7pm). Now I don’t want to accuse her of evil, but IS SHE TRYING TO MAKE ME FAT?!?! I have not heard of anyone getting anything from instant ramen except maybe heart disease and/or MSG overdose.

Drink BEER to get rid of the BEER GUT:

Sung Shi Kyung lost 6kg when he went on a beer diet. His diet consisted of replacing his carbs with beer and eating chicken breasts. Hmmm might give this one a try 😉

The “COFFEE” diet secret to weight loss:

In terms of healthiness Ga-in’s “coffee” diet secret is on par with the beer diet. She drinks 5-6 cups of coffee per day stating: “I diet with coffee. Drinking coffee prevents me from eating other food because it satisfies my stomach enough. So I don’t gain weight,”.

Now I must confess that I also drink a lot of coffee; in fact I drink so much my body doesn’t even register it anymore, it just tastes like water. But 5-6 cups just sounds scary; assuming that you’re awake for 16 hours in a day, that’s about 1 cup every 2.5 hours. No wonder her stomach is getting satisfied, it’s probably already eaten away.

YOUR MUM?

T-ara’s Boram attributed her 10kg pre-debut weight loss to her mother. Apparently her mother guided her daily diet and exercise in addition to putting a ban on the refrigerator. Now you may wonder: what is so ridiculous about this? Well you see, Boram’s mother is Asian.

Coming from an Asian background I can safely tell you that Asian mothers are a huge hinderance to weight loss; second only to that nasty thigh fat which just doesn’t seem to budge. Asian mums are like bipolar ninjas when it comes to emotional manipulation. When you’re feeling super complacent, they’ll whip out a: “Hey! Did you gain weight laa? Why do you look so fat these days laa?” After this emotional KO, when you finally resolve to diet, she’ll make all manner of delicious foods and come up with an: ‘ahhh no need to diet! Eat more rice! Eat more rice! What do you mean you don’t eat carbs?”  – . –

Risking your life for weight loss:

4-minute members shared their secret to get sleek figures. As stated by Jihyun: ‘We exercise after we practice our choreography. That is usually around 2-3am, but we exercise at that time.’ *cough* WHAT? Because I don’t have an in-house gym the only place that I can exercise is outside. Do you know what type of people are outside at 2-3am? Murderers and Rapists that’s who. Murderers AND Rapists.

Hope you enjoyed this!

xoxo

Nic